I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I can text with my tongue
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
