a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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