i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
