just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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