Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
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It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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