He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
