We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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