I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
