She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
