he wants to bone in the snuggie
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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