i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
