I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
