So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
