and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
