sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
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My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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