Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize