one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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