i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
