we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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