I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
