Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
