It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
