dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
