Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
