We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
another moral hangover. fuck.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
