I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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