Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
