Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse