So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
