hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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