Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
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