Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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