i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
