I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
