oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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