The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
what day is it and did you see me today?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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