but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
