There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
