I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
