So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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