You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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