Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize