I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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