gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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