I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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