i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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