I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
