I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
