WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Everclear isn't food dammit
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize