I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
