so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize