I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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