dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
