Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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