New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
