i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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