Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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