Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
