Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
