P.S. I can't hear my feet
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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