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I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Randomize
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