I wish I only lived at night.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.