I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?